In what is probably the most hilarious write-in presidential candidate video, Jill Reed — who calls herself the Red-Headed Tax Cutter — makes her case for why she should get your vote. (That is, you would get to hear her arguments eventually, if you weren’t busy throwing up into your desk-side wastebasket as a result of the “earthquake” setting on the handheld camera producing the footage.)
You may ask why I’m even devoting digital column inches to Reed’s candidacy. Short answer: I saw one of her campaign signs outside my train stop on the way in to work. Seeing “For President of the U.S.” after anyone’s name on a piece of campaign material other than Barry’s or Mitt’s must be a misprint, right?
After some digging, however, Jill Reed, a native of Casper, Wyoming, has an interesting qualification: According to the trackjill.com blog: “Ms. Reed followed her passion for people, history, reading and writing by pursuing a 30 year career in the minerals mining industry as a ‘Landman’. She attained the designation of Certified Professional Landman from the American Association of Professional Landmen.”
Wow. Could it be possible that we’d have an independent party-nominated commander-in-chief sitting in the White House with a long minerals and mining background?
Answer: Come on. This is America.
Regardless of the bipartisan stranglehold the Democrats and Republicans have had on American politics since the Whigs’ political star became a black hole — long before Ross Perot’s comet blazed across the sky and quickly fizzled out — Reed won’t get many votes because she’s a member of the Twelve Vision Party®, which is built upon the Prime Law® (yes, those two registered trademark symbols are intentional and accurate).
The Prime Law®, a “three-thousand-year-old secret,” guarantees every individual’s right to live happily and prosper, according to the party’s website. Other highlights, including advocacy of “forbidding the use of initiatory force, fraud, or coercion by any person or group against any individual, property, or contract,” are admirable, but the party’s main pillars read more like a self-help guru’s self-published pamphlet, rather than a political manifesto.
Not to mention a section on www.jillreedforpresident.com that features “Neothinking for Geniuses.”
But the the pertinent tidbit at hand: Jill Reed seems a steely woman, and probably made one hell of a landman. As one, she likely made quite an impact on the industry we here at MetalMiner depend on.
According to the American Association of Professional Landmen (AAPL) site, a landman’s services include:
“negotiating for the acquisition or divestiture of mineral rights; negotiating business agreements that provide for the exploration for and/or development of minerals; determining ownership in minerals through the research of public and private records; reviewing the status of title, curing title defects and otherwise reducing title risk associated with ownership in minerals; managing rights and/or obligations derived from ownership of interests in minerals; and unitizing or pooling of interests in minerals.”
Has Reed done some interesting things in the metals and mining sphere? Most likely. Does she have the slightest chance of breaking, say, a couple thousand votes? Doubtful.
(Oh, and here are some more fun folks who are on the presidential ballot.)
Man I love this country.